apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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