there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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