one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
