yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
