OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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