turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
