My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
