You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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