I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
