I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
