we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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