Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
