dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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