You work out of a Hotel?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
