It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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