you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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