You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
