How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize