I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
