All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize