If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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