Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
