you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
