Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
