so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
