I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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