I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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