I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
