He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.