Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dating After Heartbreak
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen