Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.