why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample