Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
