If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
