You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
