Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
