i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
