dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
