it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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