do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
