I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
