Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
