i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
