AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
