you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
