You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
