Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
