you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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