I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
