My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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