I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
