you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He felt like a one man threesome
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
