Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
