I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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