Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She is in my trunk
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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