im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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