I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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