ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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