Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
two words: eviction party
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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