Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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