If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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