I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
