Say something about gay babies.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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