Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
