So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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