I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
